Keep me logged in
Top Rated Jokes on Lipy - Page 5

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.

Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb

explodes while fixing.

Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.

Sardar: What is the name of your car?

Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.

Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

A: Did you hear that a baby was fed on elephant's milk and gained twenty pounds in a week.

B: That's impossible. Whose baby?

A: An elephant's.

In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in the highest esteem.

One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about your friend?"

"Hold on a minute," Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."

"Triple filter?"

"That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is absolutely true?"

"No," the man said, "I actually just heard about it and..."

"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true. You may still pass the test though, because there's one filter left: the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really."

"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?"

This is why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem. It also explains why he never found out that his best friend was having a secret affair with his wife.

Check your presence of mind. Take the test.

Relax, clear your mind and begin, what's the 1st answer that comes to your mind???

Question 1. What do you put in a toaster?

Answer: Bread. If you said Toast, give up now and do something else... Try not to hurt yourself. If you said bread, go to Question 2.

Question 2. Say 'Silk' five times. Now spell 'Silk.' What do cows drink?

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'Milk,' don't attempt the next question.

Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself by reading more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said 'Water,' proceed to question 3...

Question 3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'Green Bricks,' why the hell are you still reading these??? If you said 'Glass,' go on to Question 4.

Question 4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane crashes from 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into East and West Germany) Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West Germany, 'No man's land'???

Answer: You don't bury survivors!!! If you said ANYTHING else, you must stop. If you said, 'You don't bury survivors,' proceed to the next question.

Question 5. Please don't use a calculator - You are driving a bus from Mumbai to Pune. In Mumbai , 17 people get on, in Pune, 16 get off. Name the driver. Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!!

Add a joke
  • (Allowed file type: jpg, jpeg, png, gif)
  • (Press and hold 'Ctrl' key to select more than one tag)
  • To upload a joke without image, please leave the upload field or link field empty.
Self-Goal by Sony Six: Twitter jokes on John Abraham
Where Does A Blackbird Go For A Drink
I was talking to the duck
University Drive
Wedding speech from modern girl to her in laws
Everywhere I touch on my body it hurts
One day Ant And Elephant went for swimming
I could have been here 10 years ago
2 ants 1 elephant
Why do hens lay eggs
I am in big trouble
Having To Face the Fact
Baniye ki shaadi
Pappu V/S Teacher
Lawaris bandar
Ek ladki thi deewani si
Sorry, no professionals
Boxing match between ant and elephant.
Sardar in Mysoor palace.
Sardar pushing his scooter manually.