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Work Jokes on Lipy - Page 2

An applicant was filling out a job application.

When he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?"

He wrote, "No."

The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the previous question, was: "Why?"

The applicant answered it anyway: "Never got caught."

I called at Vodafone Customer Care, a girl picked up the phone.

Girl: Vodafone care mein aapka swaagat hai.

Me: Thank you.

Girl: Mein aapki kya sahaayta kar sakti hun??

Me: Kya aap shaadi karna chahti hain mujhse??

Girl: Jee aapne galat number laga diya hai.

Me: Nahin nahin, maine sahi number lagaya hai, aap shaadi karengi?

Girl: Jee mein shaadi main interested nahin hun.

Me: Arre madam sun toh lijiye ek baar.

Girl: Not interested.

Me: Love marriage karengi toh honeymoon Switzerland mein, arrange marriage karengi toh Paris mein.

Girl: Jee mein aapse shaadi karna hee nahinchahti toh aap offer kyun de rahe hain??

Me: Court marriage ka expense 10,000 Rs, normal wedding ka expense 2,00,000 Rs.

Girl: Aapko samajh nahin aata ki mujhe shaadi nahin karni phir bhi aap samajhte nahin.

Me: Ab pata chala madam aapko humara dard, jab hume aapke offers mein interest nahin hota phir bhi aap humaari naak mein ungli karne baar baar call karti rehti hain.

Girl shocked, I rocked....

Help-desk guy speaking to a lady user ...

Help-desk : Double click on "My Computer".

Lady : I can't see your computer..

Help-desk : No .. Click on "My Computer" on your computer.

Lady : How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer ??? !!

Help-desk : There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer .. double click on it.

Lady : What the hell is your computer doing on my computer ?

Banta, an eager young man entered his prospective boss's office for an interview.

"One thing our company is very particular about is cleanliness. I hope you wiped your shoe on the door mat while coming in?" said the boss.

"Yes sir," Banta replied promptly.

The boss continued, "One more thing we're very particular about is honesty. There is no door mat outside!"

Ek Ladka ek Ladki ko cafe mein akele baitha dekh kar ladki ki table par gaya aur kaha : "kya main aap ke saath baith sakta hoon......??

Ladki (Chillai: nahi, main aaj raat tumhare saath nahi guzaar sakti...!!

sab log dekhne lage..!!

Ladka sharminda ho gaya..!!

kuch der baad Ladki uske paas gayi aur maafi mangi aur kaha : Main HUMAN NATURE ke upar study kar rahi hoon aur padh rahi hoon ke log sharminda ho kar kya mehsoos karte hain..!!"

Ladka (Chillaya : What...?? 10 Hazaar ek raat ke...??

bahut zyada hain, kuch kam karo yaar..!! .

sab log ladki ko dekhkar hasne lage..!!

Aur phir ladka aahista se bola :" Ab mehsoos kar khul ke...

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