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Travel Jokes on Lipy - Page 4


A redneck, a preacher, and a lawyer are traveling in a car when it breaks down in front of a farm. They ask the farmer if they could spend the night.



The farmer said, "Sure, but my guest room only has room for two. One of you will have to sleep in the barn."



The preacher says, "I don't mind being with God's animals. I will sleep in the barn."



An hour later, there's a knock on the guest room door.



It's the preacher. He says, "I can't stand that noisy chicken. Could I switch with one of you?"



The redneck says, "There are always loud animals back in Alabama I can take it."



An hour later, there's a knock on the guest room door.



It's the redneck. He says, "I can't stand that smelly cow! Could I switch with one of you?"



The lawyer says, "Well, I guess that leaves me."



An hour later, there's a knock on the door. It's the chicken and the cow.

An Arab, Frenchman, American and a Mexican are riding down the highway. The Arab picks up an AK-47. He shoots a couple of rounds and then throws the gun out the window. The American asks him why he through the gun out the window and the Arab says they have so many of those where he is from he doesn't care about what happens to them.

The Frenchman picks up a bottle of wine and drinks a little and throws it out the window. The American asks him why he tossed it. The Frenchman says they have so much of it where he is from he doesn't care what happens to it.

The American picks up the Mexican and throws him out the window.


On a flight James bond was sitting next to a Telugu guy.



Telugu Guy: "Hello, May I know your name please?"



James Bond: "My name is Bond' Continuing in his inimitable style.....James Bond."



Then Bond asks: "And you?



Telugu Guy: "My name is Rao...

"Siva Rao...

"Samba Siva Rao...

"Venkata Samba Siva Rao...

"Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...

"Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...

"Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...

"Vijayawada Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...



Since then when anyone asks Bond his name he simply says 'James Bond'


Women:

A wife was not at home for a whole night. So, the next morning, she tells her husband that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment overnight.



The husband calls 10 of her best girlfriends and none of them confirm that.



Men:

A husband was not at home for a whole night. So, he tells his wife the next morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment overnight.



The wife calls 10 of his best friends: 5 of them confirmed that he stayed at their apartments that night, and the other 5 are claiming that he still is there with them!


A one dollar bill met a twenty dollar bill and said, "Hey, where've you been? I haven't seen you around here much."



The twenty answered, "I've been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for awhile, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?"



The one dollar bill said, "You know, same old stuff... church, church, church."

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