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Travel Jokes on Lipy - Page 3


Sunil goes over to visit one of his friends.



While he is at his friend's house it starts to rain very heavily the type that is not going to stop.



His friend tells him to spend the night at his house and go home the next day.



When he hears this, he rushes out the door and comes a while later totally drenched and carrying a small bag.



So his friend asks, "Where did you run off too!"



He says, "I went home to get my pyjamas!"


A visitor was standing on a street corner waiting for a bus when he notices a blind man and his guide dog. The dog leads the man into the street, where he is brushed by an oncoming car. The man is knocked down, and he rather gingerly gets back up. He calls the guide dog over, reaches into his pocket, pulls out a canine treat, and gives it to the dog.



The visitor, upon seeing all this, walks over to the blind man and says, "That's amazing! Your guide dog led you into a busy street where you were nearly run over by a car, and yet you're giving the dog a treat. You must really love that dog."



The blind man turned to me and said, "No, I'm going to thoroughly kick that dog's butt. I'm just using the dog biscuit to determine which end is which."


The orthopedic surgeon Joe worked for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items.



Joe sat the display skeleton in the front of his car, his bony arm across the back of his seat. Joe hadn't considered the drive across town.



At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside him became obvious, and he looked across and explained, "I'm delivering him to my doctor's office."



The other driver leaned out of his window, "I hate to tell you," he said, "but I think it's too late!"


During one "generation-gap" quarrel with his parents, young Michael cried, "I want excitement, adventure, money, and beautiful women. I'll never find it here at home, so I'm leaving. Don't try and stop me!"



With that, he headed toward the door. His father rose and followed close behind.



"Didn't you hear what I said? I don't want you to try and stop me."



"Who's trying to stop you?" replied his father. "If you wait a minute, I'll go with you."


A couple were driving to a church to get married. On the way, they got into a car accident and died.



When they arrive in heaven, they see St. Peter at the gate. They ask him if he could arrange it so they could marry in heaven. St. Peter tells them that he'll do his best to work on it for them.



Three months pass by and the couple hear nothing. They bump into St. Peter and ask him about the marriage.



He says, "I'm still working on it."



Two years pass by and no marriage. St. Peter again assures them that he's working on it. Finally after twenty long years, St. Peter comes running with a priest and tells the couple it's time for their wedding.



The couple marry and live happily for a while. But after a few months the couple go and find St. Peter and tell him things are not working out, and that they want to get a divorce.



"Can you arrange it for us?" they ask.



St. Peter replies, "Are you kidding?! It took me twenty years to find a priest up here. How am I gonna find you a lawyer?"

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