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Technology Jokes on Lipy - Page 4


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My friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her elderly mother to the magic of the Internet. Our first move was to access Google, and we told her it could answer any question she had.



Nancy's mother was very skeptical until Nancy said, "It's true, Mom."



"Think of something to ask it."



As I sat with fingers poised over the keyboard, Nancy's mother thought a minute, then responded, "How is Aunt Helen feeling?"


Dear Dad,

Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad,I am bit ashamed to arrive to my college with my Gold Mercedes, when all my Teachers travel by train.



Your Son

Nasser



Sometime later Nasser gets reply to his e-mail from his Dad:

Loving son,

Twenty Million Dollars transferred to your account, please stop embarrassing us, go and get yourself a train too.



Your Dad


A Spanish Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.



'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'



'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'



A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'



Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.



The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:



1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;



2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;



3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and



4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.



(THIS GETS BETTER!)



The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:



1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;



2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;



3. They are supposed to help you solve problems,



but half the time they ARE the problem; and



4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.



The women won.


5 things American Movies Teach Us:

1. Chinese have nothing better to do than teaching or practice Kung Fu.



2. More than 50% of U.S. population are FBI/CIA agents, working undercover.



3. The purpose of school system of U.S. is to promote Basketball/Baseball.



4. Aliens have special interest in attacking the U.S.



5. U.S. is a place where you can meet all mythical creatures like werewolves & vampires.



5 things Indian Movies teach us:

1. At least one of the identical twins is born evil.



2. While defusing a bomb, don't worry, whichever wire you cut... you always choose the right one".



3. A hero will show no pain while getting beaten up; but will show pain when a girl cleans up his wounds.



4. A detective can solve a case only when he is suspended from duty.

The most hilarious one...



5. If you decide to start dancing on the street, everyone you meet will know the steps.

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