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Teacher-Student Jokes on Lipy - Page 3

Teacher: Happy New Year bachchon! Aaj se 2014 start ho raha hai. Is naye saal pe kasam khao ki kabhi bhi sharaab aur cigarette nahin piyoge, drugs nahin loge, non veg nahin khaoge.

Bachche: Theek hai sir, hum sharaab, cigarette, drugs, non veg ko chuenge tak nahin.

Teacher: Kabhi ladkiyaan nahin chedoge.

Bachche: Nahin chedenge sir.

Teacher: Kabhi jua nahin kheloge.

Bachche: Nahin khelenge sir.

Teacher: Desh ke liye apni jaan tak bhi de denge.

Bachche: De denge sir, aisi jaan ka karna bhi kya hai.

It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the high school intercom:

Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing.

Twenty minutes later there was another announcement:

Will the twelve hundred students who went to move 26 cars, return to class.

Ek teacher kaha ki \'AGAR MAI BILL GATES HOTA\' par essay likho. Saare students likhne lag gaye. Teacher ne dekha ki sab likh rahe hain but apna Pappu sirf smile kar raha tha, yahan vahan dekh rajah tha lekin likh nahin raha tha.

Teacher: Pappu, tum kyu nai likh rahey?

Pappu: Madam ji, main apni seceretry ka intzaar kar raha hun.

This is attitude...

Aaj se 300 saal pehle MATHS bahut masoom aur pyara tha.

Ek din kuch badmash students ne MATHS ko bahut maara... itna maara, itna maara ki bechare MATHS ki jaan chali gayi. Lekin jaate jaate MATHS sab students ko ek baddua de gaya... Main to ja raha hoon lekin..."MATHS"

M = Meri
A = Aatma
T = Tumhe
H = Hamesha
S = Satayegi
Aaj bhi maths ki aatma bhatak rahi hai aur saare students ko sata rahi hai aur hamesha satati rahegi....

Maths Teacher: Jab Mai Tumhare Jitna tha,
Mere 100 marks Aate the.


Pappu: Aji Kismat Achi Thi Aapki Jo Aapko Acha Teacher Mil Gaya...Hamari Kismat Aisi Kahan

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1.
Self-Goal by Sony Six: Twitter jokes on John Abraham
2.
Where Does A Blackbird Go For A Drink
3.
I was talking to the duck
4.
University Drive
5.
Wedding speech from modern girl to her in laws
6.
Everywhere I touch on my body it hurts
7.
I could have been here 10 years ago
8.
Why do hens lay eggs
9.
How do you prepare your chickens
10.
This blonde calls me
1.
I am in big trouble
2.
Baniye ki shaadi
3.
Pappu V/S Teacher
4.
Lawaris bandar
5.
Ek ladki thi deewani si
6.
Sorry, no professionals
7.
Boxing match between ant and elephant.
8.
Sardar in Mysoor palace.
9.
Sardar pushing his scooter manually.
10.
Having To Face the Fact