A visitor to Santa, "Which is Mr Banta's flat?"
Santa: Please come with me.
The visitor is taken on stairs to the 3rd floor.
The visitor rings the bell and there is no response. He rings it again and again and still no one answers.
Visitor: I think he is not in.
Santa: Yeah, he has gone out. He'll be back in the evening!
Santa lost his cheque booklet.
He decided to go to the bank after two days to report.
The Bank manager said to him, "But I warned you to be very careful with your cheque book because anyone can forge your signature."
Santa replied, "I am not a fool Sir, I have signed all the cheques already, so, they won't have space to forge my signature!"
Santa travelling by train to Mumbai and was tearing bits out of a newspaper, rolling them into small balls and then chucking them out of the window.
Perplexed co-passenger: Why are you doing this?
Santa: To keep away the elephants.
Co-passenger: But there aren't any elephant around!
Santa: I know. Very effective, isn't it!
Girl : Dad, I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me.
I am in India and he lives in UK.
We met on a dating website, became friends on facebook, had long chats on whatsapp,
proposed to each other on skype, And now we've had 2 months of relationship through viber.
I need your blessing and good wishes daddy...
Dad said: Wow! Really!! Then get married on twitter, have fun online.
Buy ur kids on e-bay, send them through gmail and if you are fed up with your husband...
Sell him on OLX.... !!
Wedding speech from modern girl to her in laws:
My dear new family, I thank you for welcoming me in my new house...
Firstly I must tell you that my presence here should not change your life routines...
Those who used to do the laundry must keep on doing it... Those cooking must keep cooking... Those cleaning must keep cleaning... I'll not disturb anybody's routine...
So far as I'm concerned, I'm here only to:
Have FUN and
Entertain your SON!!!