Teacher: Kaun si chidiya sabse fast urti hai...........??
Student: Mam, Haathi !!
Teacher: Nalayak!!! Tera baap kya karta hai.......??
Student: Ji woh Al Qaida mein aatankwadi ka kaam karte hai !!!
Teacher: Shabash beta! Likho bacchon, answer likho, HAATHI.
Killer English by Teachers:
PT Teacher: You three of you, stand together separately.
Geography Teacher: Will you hang that map or else I'll hang myself.
Principal: Tomorrow call your parents, especially Mother and Father.
And the terrific one:
English Teacher: Why are you looking at the monkeys outside when I'm in the class!
A woman called up the hospital and said,
"I want to know if the patient Rita Brown in Room No 1438 is getting better,"
The RMO replied, "She is doing very well. She had her first solid meal today, her blood pressure is fine and if she continues improving she might even be sent home in a couple of days."
The woman said, "Thank God! That's wonderful news!"
RMO: I take it you must be a family member or a close friend!
Woman: No I am Rita Brown. No one tells me anything!
One day, Mickey Mouse asks Donald Duck to tell him Ramayana.
Donald duck is impressed and starts reading verses from Ramayana.
Mickey Mouse continues to listen. After completing the whole Ramayan, Donald Duck lets out a big sigh and asks Mickey Mouse, "Mickey Mouse, tell me... who was the father of Lord Ram?"
Mickey Mouse cannot. Angry, Donald duck, again asks, " Mickey Mouse!!! tell me... what was the capital of Ram's kingdom!"
Mickey Mouse cannot answer again.
Infuriated, Donald Duck kicks Mickey Mouse hard, and MickeyMouse goes and collides with a wall. As soon as he collides with the wall,he gets up and starts saying verses of Ramayana from start to end....
How did this happen???
After hitting the wall, Mickey becomes Wall-Mickey (Valmiki)...
....... Bolo Jai Shree Ram
"Where's the barber who worked on the next chair?" asked the old customer as he was getting a shave.
Hadn't you heard about Bill? said the barber. It was a very sad case.
He grew nervous and despondent over poor business, and one day when a customer said he didn't care for a massage he suddenly went out of his mind and slashed the customer's throat. He is in the asylum for the criminal insane now. Will you be having a massage, sir?
Sure, go ahead! said the customer.