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SMS Jokes on Lipy - Page 4

A letter from a guy to Agony Aunt:

Dear Abby,
I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision. I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.

The usual signs... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."

I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn't in a taxi?

I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. I decided I was going to park my Harley Davidson motorcycle next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home.

It was at that moment, crouching behind my Harley, that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer ???

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."

"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.

"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."

He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"

"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."

"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me!"

A guy got stuck on a Rs. 1 crore question.

He uses phone-a-friend helpline, and chooses his girlfriend to ask the answer.

Amitabh Bachchan: Girlfriend ji, Namashkaar, mein Amitabh Bachchan bol raha hun KBC se. Abhi aapke mitra aap se ek prashan puchenge aur aap ko sirf 30 seconds mein us prashan ka uttar dene hai. Aapka samay shuru hota hai ab...

Boy reads out the question and the 4 options.

Girl: Mil gaya time tumhe phone karne ka ? Mujhe tumse koi baat nahi karni !!! Byeeeee....

Santa calls up the doc at 2 AM. "Doc, my wife is having severe abdomen pain. I think it's her appendix."

"What nonsense!" says the doc sleepily.

"I took out your wife's appendix two years ago. Go back to sleep."

Five minutes later, the phone rings and it's Santa again.

"Doc, I'm sure it's her appendix."

"Oh God!" the doctor groaned.

"Did you ever hear of anyone having a second appendix?"

"No...," says Santa. "But I'm sure you must have heard of someone having a second wife..!!!!"


Height Øf BAD LUCK:

.

A Bøy And Girl Meet Last Time,

.

Før There Breakup!

.

Girl's Father Caught Them & Nøw They Are Married Cøuple..!!

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