Grandpa was always going on about the good old days, and the lower cost of living, in particular to his grandson.
"When I was a kid, my mom could send me to the store, and I'd get a salami, two pints of milk, 6 oranges, 2 loaves o' bread, a magazine, and some new blue jeans... all for a dollar!!"
Grandson, "You can't DO that anymore..... they got those darn video cameras everywhere you look."
Santa was caught by police.
Police: How did you kill 20 people?
Santa: Main gaadi tez chala raha tha par jab maine brake lagaya, toh pata laga ki brake fail ho gaya hain.
Phir main ne samne dekha toh ek taraf 2 aadmi ja rahe the aur dusri taraf 1 barat ja rahi thi. Ab aap hi batao main gaadi kidhar modta?
Police: Of course, jis taraf 2 admi the. Nuksaan kam hota.
Santa: Exactly. Maine bhi yahi socha tha par woh 2 aadmi meri gaadi dekh kar barat me ghus gaye..!!!
Help-desk guy speaking to a lady user ...
Help-desk : Double click on "My Computer".
Lady : I can't see your computer..
Help-desk : No .. Click on "My Computer" on your computer.
Lady : How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer ??? !!
Help-desk : There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer .. double click on it.
Lady : What the hell is your computer doing on my computer ?
Technically there are 7 TYPES OF LADIES:
1. HARD DISK lady: Remembers everything forever.
2. RAM lady: Forgets about you the moment you turn off.
3. SCREENSAVER lady: Just for looking.
4. INTERNET lady: Difficult to access.
5. SERVER lady: Always busy when needed
6. MULTIMEDIA lady: Looks beautiful but you can only look.
7. VIRUS lady: This type of lady is normally called 'WIFE', once enters your system, never leaves even if the system is formatted.
Banta, an eager young man entered his prospective boss's office for an interview.
"One thing our company is very particular about is cleanliness. I hope you wiped your shoe on the door mat while coming in?" said the boss.
"Yes sir," Banta replied promptly.
The boss continued, "One more thing we're very particular about is honesty. There is no door mat outside!"