The warden, addressing the three instigators of a failed prison riot, said, "I would like to know two things. First: Why did you revolt? Second: How did you get out of your cell?"
One of the three men stepped forward, "Warden, we rebelled because the food is awful."
"I see. And what did you use to break the bars?" The warden asked.
Replied the spokesman, "French Toast..."
A girl was driving when she saw the flash of a traffic camera. She figured that her picture had been taken for exceeding the limit even though she knew that she was not speeding.
Just to be sure, she went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.
Now she began to think that this was quite funny, so she drove even slower as she passed the area once more, but the traffic camera again flashed. She tried a fourth and fifth time with the same results and was now laughing as the camera flashed while she rolled past at a snail\'s pace.
Two weeks later, she got five challans for driving without a seat belt... !!!
Santa Police station ja kar kehta hai: Inspector saab, mujhe ek FIR likhwaani hai.
Inspector: Kaun ho tum, kya hua, aur kiske khilaaf FIR karwaani hai?
Santa: Mujhe phone par jaan se marne ki dhamki mil rahi hai.
Inspector: Kaun de raha hai dhamkiyaan tumko, aur kya bol raha hai?
Santa: BSNL wale, kehte hai bill nahi bhara to kaat denge...!
I went to the store the other day, and I was in there for only about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket.
So I went up to him and said, 'Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?'
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked Nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tyres!
So I called him a piece of horse shit. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes. The more
I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
I didn't care.
My car was parked around the corner. I try to have a little fun each day. It's important.
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. DarnÖ.I think I'm going to pass out. Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from? Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster. Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic? Caller: No Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing? Caller: Running from the Police.