logo
Keep me logged in
News & Politics Jokes on Lipy - Page 3


At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness.



"Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"



The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't hear the question.



"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated.



The witness still did not respond.



Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question."



"Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."


Dad: "I Want you to marry a girl of my choice."



Son: "No."



Dad: "But the girl is bill Gates` daughter."



Son: "Ok, I am ready to marry."



Dad Goes to Bill Gates.



Dad: "I want your daughter to marry my son."



Bill Gates: "No"



Dad: "My son is the CEO of The World Bank."



Bill Gates: "Then Ok"



Dad goes to the President of the World Bank.



Dad: "Appoint my Son as the CEO of your Bank."



President: "No!"



Dad: "He is Son-In-Law of Bill Gates."



President: "Then Ok!"



This is called Pure Business.


An American delegation on a visit to India were being shown round the capital. In the evening they were taken to the Secretariat for a panoramic view of Vijay Chowk and Rajpath. Came the closing hour and thousands upon thousands of clerks poured out of their offices. The place was crammed with bicycles and pedestrians.



'Who are all these people?' asked the leader of the American delegation.



'They are the common people of India; the real rulers of the country,' proudly replied the minister accompanying the visitors.



A few minutes later came a fleet of flag - bearing limousines escorted by pilots on motorcycles followed by jeeps full of armed policemen.



'And who are these?' asked the American.



'These are us,' replied the minister with the same pride, 'the servants of the people.'


A newly appointed health minister of a northern state whose knowledge of English was somewhat elementary was on his first official visit to the largest hospital in the capital.



The Director of Medical Services took the minister round the operating theaters and general wards till they came to the women patients' section.



'This, sir, is the labour ward,' explained the director.



The minister stopped in his tracks and said firmly, 'I will not visit this ward. Don't you know we have a labour minister in the government? I must not trespass into his domain.'


An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years. He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak. His son is in college in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail. He explains the problem: "Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would help and dig up the garden for me. I love you, Your Father." The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from his son: "Beloved Father, please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'the THING'. I love you, too, Ahmed" At 4pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the Rangers visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can't find anything. Disappointed they leave the house. A day later, the old man receives another e-mail from his son. "Beloved Father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That's all I could do for you from here. I love you, Ahmed."

Add a joke
  • (Allowed file type: jpg, jpeg, png, gif)
  • (Press and hold 'Ctrl' key to select more than one tag)
  • To upload a joke without image, please leave the upload field or link field empty.
1.
Self-Goal by Sony Six: Twitter jokes on John Abraham
2.
Where Does A Blackbird Go For A Drink
3.
I was talking to the duck
4.
Where Do Dogs Go When They Lose Their Tails
5.
Wedding speech from modern girl to her in laws
6.
One day Ant And Elephant went for swimming
7.
2 ants 1 elephant
8.
University Drive
9.
Everywhere I touch on my body it hurts
10.
Elephant was angry with ant
1.
Lawaris bandar
2.
Baniye ki shaadi
3.
Pappu V/S Teacher
4.
Ek ladki thi deewani si
5.
I am in big trouble
6.
Having To Face the Fact
7.
Pappu ki GF
8.
Building Ki 50vi Manjil Pe Lakdi Ka Kaam Chal Raha Tha
9.
Sorry, no professionals
10.
Boxing match between ant and elephant.
Top Members
No member found.
No member found.