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News & Politics Jokes on Lipy - Page 2

Gun Control

Barack Obama at a recent rural elementary school assembly in East Texas , asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence.

Then he said into the microphone, 'Children, every time I clap my hands together, a child in America dies from gun violence.'

Then, little Richard Earl , with a proud East Texas drawl, pierced the quiet and said: ''Well, dumb, stop clapping!'

A man dies.

In heaven he sees a large Wall full of Clocks

He asks angel : What are these for ?

Angel answer : These are Lie Clocks,

every person has lie clock!

Whenever u lie on earth, clock moves.

The man points towards a clock and asks : Whose clock is this ?

Angel says : its Mother Teresa's. It never moved,showing that she never told lie.

The man asks : Where is Indian Politician's clock ?

Angel replies : That's in our office...we use it as TABLE FAN !!


Lecturer : Write A Note On Gandhi Jayanti,

.

..

...

Circuit Writes : Gandhi Was A Great Man But Maa Kasam I Don't Know Who Is Jayanti Koi Locha Lafda Hofa Buddhe Ka....!


NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars.Only one person could go, and he will not return to Earth.



The first applicant, an American engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going.

“A million dollars”, he answered, “because I wish to donate it to M.I.T.”



The next applicant, a Russian doctor, was asked the same question.

]He asked for two million dollars. “I wish to give a million to my family, he explained,

“and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research.”



The last applicant was our Indian politician.

When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer’s ear, “Three million dollars.”



“Why so much more than the others?” the interviewer asked.

The Indian Politician replied, $1 million is for you, I’ll keep $1

million,and we’ll give the American engineer $1million and send him to Mars”


The health minister is visiting a psychiatric ward. He asks the head of psychology, “How do you determine if a patient is cured.”



The psychologist explains:



“We take them to the bathtub, which is filled with water, hand them a spoon and a cup and ask them to empty the bathtub.”



“I see,” says the health minister, “The cured person would choose the cup because it`s bigger, and would empty the tub faster.”



“Actually no,” replies the psychologist, “A normal person would simply pull the plug.”

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