logo
Keep me logged in
Money Jokes on Lipy - Page 4
If time is money


If time is money, then is an ATM is a time machine


A man walks into a bar, and as he makes his way to the counter, he stops and talks to everyone in the bar. As he finishes with each group of people, they all get up and leave and go stand outside the window, looking in. Finally, the bar is empty except for this guy and the bartender. The man walks up to the counter, and says to the bartender, "I bet you $1,000 that I can spray beer from my mouth into a shot glass from thirty feet away, and not get any outside the glass."



The bartender thinks that this guy is a nutcase, but he wants his $1,000, so he agrees. The bartender gets out a shot glass, paces off thirty feet, and the contest begins. The man sprays beer all over the bar. He doesn't even touch the shot glass. When he finishes, the bartender looks at him and says, "Well, I guess you owe me $1,000, huh?"



The man answers, "Yeah, but I bet all of those people outside the window $500 a piece that I could come in here and spray beer all over the bar."


The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss into allowing alcohol.



1. It's an incentive to show up.



2. It reduces stress.



3. It leads to more honest communications.



4. It reduces complaints about low pay.



5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.



6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.



7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.



8. It encourages carpooling.



9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care.



10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.



11. It makes fellow employees look better.



12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.



13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.



14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.



15. If something does something stupid on the job, it will be quickly forgotten.


Knock knock.

Who's there?

Cash.

Cash who?

No thanks, but I would like a peanut instead!


There were three guys in Hell - Iranian, American, and a Chinese man. They asked Satan to let them call their family. The American called and talked for 10 minutes. He payed $1,000. The Chinaman called and talked for 15 minutes. He payed $2,000. The Iranian talked for an hour and only paid $10. The other men complained and Satan responded, "A call from Hell to Hell is local."

Add a joke
  • (Allowed file type: jpg, jpeg, png, gif)
  • (Press and hold 'Ctrl' key to select more than one tag)
  • To upload a joke without image, please leave the upload field or link field empty.
1.
Self-Goal by Sony Six: Twitter jokes on John Abraham
2.
Where Does A Blackbird Go For A Drink
3.
I was talking to the duck
4.
Where Do Dogs Go When They Lose Their Tails
5.
Wedding speech from modern girl to her in laws
6.
2 ants 1 elephant
7.
One day Ant And Elephant went for swimming
8.
University Drive
9.
Everywhere I touch on my body it hurts
10.
Elephant was angry with ant
1.
Lawaris bandar
2.
Baniye ki shaadi
3.
Pappu V/S Teacher
4.
Ek ladki thi deewani si
5.
I am in big trouble
6.
Having To Face the Fact
7.
Pappu ki GF
8.
Building Ki 50vi Manjil Pe Lakdi Ka Kaam Chal Raha Tha
9.
Sorry, no professionals
10.
Boxing match between ant and elephant.
Top Members
No member found.
No member found.
No member found.