Your house is so nasty, I tripped over a rat, and a cockroach stole my wallet.
Santa walked into a bar one evening, sat down and said, "Bar man, give me 1 bottle of beer, and give everybody here 2 bottles. As I am drinking, let them be drinking."
The bar man obeyed. Everybody hailed Santa.
As they were all drinking, Santa said, "Bar man, give me 1 bowl of chicken soup, and give everybody here 2 bowls of chicken soup each, as I am eating, let them be eating."
The bar man obeyed. Everybody praised Santa.
Minutes later, Santa said, "Bar man, bring me my bill, and bring everybody their bill, as I am paying, let them be paying."
A girl brought home a man who was naked except for a loincloth. He had a painted face, feathered headgear and a spear in one hand.
"Father I have married the type of man you always wanted me to marry."
One look at his son-in-law and the father recoiled in horror.
"I had asked you to marry a 'Rich Doctor' not a 'Witch Doctor'!" he sputtered.
A young man asked a rich old man how he made his money.
The old guy said: Son, it was 1932, the depth of the Great Depression I was down to my last nickel. I invested that in an apple and spent the entire day polishing it. At the end of the day, I sold the apple for 10 cents!
The next day, I invested those 10 cents in 2 apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them for 20 cents.
I continued this 4 a month. By the end of which I had accumulated a fortune of $.1.37. Then my wife's father died and left us 2 Million Dollars...!
MORAL: Hard Work Is Just Shit. Find A Chick Whose Father Is Rich.
12 reasons why I chose Business as profession:
1. I hate sleeping.
2. I have enjoyed my life in childhood.
3. I can't Live without Tension.
4. I wanted 2 have a disturbed life.
5. I believe in Geeta "karm karo fal ki chinta mat karo".
6. I wanted 2 take revenge on myself.
7. I love dreaming about, delivery, payments, orders.
8. I like spending time with staff, customer, govt babu than family, friends.
9. I love giving bribe.
10. I love 2 work on holidays.
11. I can't live without mobile hooked on my ears even in the bathroom.
and the best one
12. I love begging for payments.