Beta: Mummy kya love marriage karne se ghar wale naraaz hote hain?
Maa: Tu pakka kisi churail ke chakkar mein hoga or yeh sab tujhe usi daayan ne kaha hoga, ladkiyan to bus ladkon ko fasane mein hi lagi rehti hain, jahan achcha ladka dekha shuru ho jaati hain. Beta meri baat dhyaan se suno.. inke chakkron mein kabhi mat padna, inse bach ke rehna, yeh bahut smart aur dhokebaaz type ki hoti hain aur inka koi deen-imaan bhi...
Beta: Aisa kuch nahi hai mom, woh to daddy bata rahe the ki aap dono ki love marriage hui thi.
Boy: How are you?
Girl: Do I know you?
Boy: Am RICH.
Girl: Oh! My name is Mary but you can call me "BABY". Am 19 and I stay in Lekki. I love short dark men like you, and am glad to meet you. So when are we going out?
Boy: No! No! No! Rich is my name. It's the short form of Richard.
Girl: Sorry I don't talk to strangers.
This 89 year old woman was arrested for lifting.
When she went before the judge he asked her, "What did you steal?"
She replied, "Can of peaches."
The judge asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches and she replied that she was hungry. Then the judge asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6.
The judge said, "Then I will give you 6 days in jail."
Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband spoke up and asked, the judge if he could say something on his wife's behalf. The judge said, "What is it?"
The husband said, "She also stole a can of peas."
Santa noticed that Banta was looking depressed, and asked what was wrong.
"Well," said Banta, "I ran afoul of one of those awkward questions women ask. Now I'm in deep trouble at home."
"What kind of question?" asked Santa.
"My wife asked me if I would still love her when she gets old, fat and wrinkly."
"That's easy," said Santa. "You just say 'Of course I will.'"
"Yeah," said Banta, "That's what I did, except I said 'Of course I DO...'"
Wedding speech from modern girl to her in laws:
My dear new family, I thank you for welcoming me in my new house...
Firstly I must tell you that my presence here should not change your life routines...
Those who used to do the laundry must keep on doing it... Those cooking must keep cooking... Those cleaning must keep cleaning... I'll not disturb anybody's routine...
So far as I'm concerned, I'm here only to:
Have FUN and
Entertain your SON!!!