The little boy was sitting on a park bench munching on one chocolate bar after another.
After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all those chocolates isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, make you fat."
The boy replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.'
The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 chocolate bars at a time?"
The little boy answered, "No, he minded his own damn business!"
"Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher.
A small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."
The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means ?" she asked.
"Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."
The father of a teenage daughter was concerned with the amount of time she spent on the telephone. Not so much for the time she wasted (he had given up on that long ago), but because nobody else could use the phone.
So, as a happy solution, he had a telephone installed for her with her own private number and directory listing.
Two or three days after her telephone had been installed, he came home to find her stretched out on the floor with her feet on the living room couch and chatting away on the family telephone. Her own telephone was resting silently on her dresser.
"Why are you using our telephone?" he yelled. "Why aren't you talking on your own telephone?"
"I can't," she said. "I'm expecting an important call on my phone."
A zookeeper approaches three boys standing near the lion’s cage and asks them their names and what they’re up to.
The first boy says, “My name’s Tommy and I was trying to feed peanuts to the lions.”
The second boy says, “My name’s Billy and I was trying to feed peanuts to the lions.”
The third boy says, “My name is Peanuts.”