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God Jokes on Lipy - Page 3

A guy is walking along when suddenly he got his foot caught stuck in some railroad tracks. He tried to get it out but it was really stuck in there well. He heard a noise and turned around to see a train coming.

He panicked and started to pray, "God, please get my foot out of these tracks and I'll stop drinking!"

Nothing happened, it was still stuck, and the train was getting closer!

He prayed again, "God, please get my foot out and I'll stop drinking AND cussing!"

Still nothing..... and the train was just seconds away!

He tried it one more time, "God please, if you get my foot out of the tracks, I'll quit drinking, cussing, smoking and doing flirt with all the women I meet."

Suddenly his foot shot out of the tracks and he was able to dive out of the way, just as the train passed!

He got up, dusted himself off, looked toward Heaven and said, "Thanks anyway God, I got it myself."

While walking through the woods one day, I was surprised to hear a child's voice. I followed the sound, trying in vain to understand the child's words. When I spotted a girl perched on a rock, I realized why her words had made no sense: She was repeating the alphabet.

"Why are you saying your ABC's so many times?" I asked her.

The child replied, "I'm saying my prayers."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Prayers? All I hear is the alphabet."

Patiently the child explained, "Well, I don't know all the words, so I give God the letters. He knows what I'm trying to say."


God to Pappu :- Beta kya chahiye.??



Pappu :- Ek Job,Ek badi si gaadi.. Aur usme Dher sari ladkiya,



God :- Tathastu.



Aaj pappu Girl's school me bus driver hai...



Soch samajh k maango, hum smart hai to bhagwan over smart Hai..


In a Nursery School Canteen, there's a basket of apples with a notice written over it:



'Do not take more than one, God is watching'



On d other counter there's a box of chocolates,



A small child went & wrote on it.



"Take as many as U want, God is busy watching d apples".

NEVER ACT SMART WITH today's generation..!!.

A man dies and goes to hell.

There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.

He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do there?"

He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.

Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.

Then the German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."

The man doesn't like it, so he moves on and checks out the American hell, the Russian hell and hells of other countries.

He finds that they're all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long queue of people waiting to get in.

Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"

He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.

Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.

Then the Indian devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."

"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells; so why are so many people waiting to get in here?" wonders the man.

He is told, "Because the maintenance here is so bad that the electric chair does not work,
Someone has stolen all the nails from the bed.
and the Indian devil is a former government servant,
So he just comes, signs the attendance register and then goes to the canteen

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