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Doctor Jokes on Lipy - Page 2


Doctor: I have good news and bad news.



Patient: Go with the good news first.



Doctor: You have 24 hours to live.



Patient: What!?! How about the bad news?



Doctor: Um... I forgot to tell you yesterday.


A woman called up the hospital and said,



"I want to know if the patient Rita Brown in Room No 1438 is getting better,"



The RMO replied, "She is doing very well. She had her first solid meal today, her blood pressure is fine and if she continues improving she might even be sent home in a couple of days."



The woman said, "Thank God! That's wonderful news!"



RMO: I take it you must be a family member or a close friend!



Woman: No I am Rita Brown. No one tells me anything!


New drugs for men created by women scientists are waiting for FDA approval...



ANIVERSIA: Triggers memories for birthdays and anniversaries...



SLIMOXIL: Widens male cornea making wives appear slim...



SPORTOBLIND X: Reacts with optic nerve to prevent men from recognizing the word "Sports" on TV...



WORKOCETAMOL: Generates an insatiable desire in men to do household chores...



SHOPHOFOBEX: Makes men eager to take wives for shopping every week and wait patiently...



FLIRTONATE-N: It reduces vision whenever a pretty woman passes by...


A girl brought home a man who was naked except for a loincloth. He had a painted face, feathered headgear and a spear in one hand.



"Father I have married the type of man you always wanted me to marry."



One look at his son-in-law and the father recoiled in horror.



"I had asked you to marry a 'Rich Doctor' not a 'Witch Doctor'!" he sputtered.


A peculiarly scary thing was happening in a hospital's ICU. Every Sunday, with unfailing regularity, patients on bed number 5 died at 11 AM.



This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. To investigate the cause of such bizarre incidents, the doctors and nurses decide to keep strict vigilance.



A few minutes before 11 AM, the part time Sunday sweeper arrived. Whistling cheerfully, he unplugged the life support system of bed nnumber 5 and put the plug of his vacuum cleaner in it place!

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