A girl was crying bitterly.
Mom: What happened dear?
Daughter: Mom do I look like a wicked witch?
Daughter: Are my eyes big as toad?
Daughter: Is my nose flat?
Mom: No baby!
Daughter: Am I fat like a bulldog?
Mom: You have a fine physique, you are a barbie doll!
Daughter: Then why people tell me that you look like your mom?
A White Man visited Ozoro Community in Delta State and saw the people carrying blocks on their heads from a far distance to a building site, they were building a town hall.
The White Man felt pity on them, donated a wheel barrow and travelled back.
One month later, the white man came back. He was surprised to see that the work was still slow, even with a wheel barrow.
He looked around and got shocked to see the on-coming wheel barrow with a guy pushing it, and another guy sitting inside it, smiling, with a block on his head.
Bill wasn't a very good golfer, but he sure dressed like one. He had a wicked slice that prevented him from ever reaching the green in two strokes, but on the day of the company golf tournament, no one could deny that he looked pretty sharp on the tee. That day, as usual, Bill sent his first drive deep into the woods.
"You'll never hit it out of there," his friends insisted.
"As God is my witness, I'm gonna make the green in two if it kills me," Bill replied.
With that, he smacked the ball as hard as he could. It hit the tree in front of him and came straight back, and hit him right between the eyes and he died.
When Bill appeared at the pearly gates, St. Peter looked at him and said, "Well, I can see by your outfit that you're a golfer! Are you any good?"
Bill replied, "I got here in two, didn't I?"
Wikipedia on serial killers
Banta, an eager young man entered his prospective boss's office for an interview.
"One thing our company is very particular about is cleanliness. I hope you wiped your shoe on the door mat while coming in?" said the boss.
"Yes sir," Banta replied promptly.
The boss continued, "One more thing we're very particular about is honesty. There is no door mat outside!"