A lawyer was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side.
A couple of minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're cute!" Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of "beautiful," it was "cute." She asked, "What happened to 'beautiful'?" His reply was "The drugs are wearing off!"
Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help!
911: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So what's your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is winning.
The boss calls his secretary and says, "Get ready for the weekend, We are going on a business trip."
The secretary calls husband and says, "Me and my boss are going on a business trip for 2 days so takecare of yourself."
The husband calls his girlfriend and says, "My wife is going on a business trip come home we can have fun."
The girlfriend calls the boy to whom she gives tuition, "No tuition this weekend."
The boy calls his grand father, "Grandpa at last we can spend this weekend together."
Grandpa (The boss) calls his secretary and says, "Business trip is cancelled. I'm going to spend weekend with my grandson."
The secretary calls husband, "I won't be going."
The husband calls his girlfriend, "I am sorry My wife is not going."
The girlfriend calls boy, "You have tuition."
Boy calls his grandpa and says, "Sorry grandpa I've classes."
The grandpa calls secretary....
The boys had been up in the attic together helping with some cleaning. The kids uncovered an old manual typewriter and asked her, "Hey Mom, what's this?"
"Oh, that's an old typewriter," she answered, thinking that would satisfy their curiosity.
"Well, what does it do?" they queried.
"I'll show you," she said and returned with a blank piece of paper. She rolled the paper into the typewriter and began striking the keys, leaving black letters of print on the page.
"WOW!" they exclaimed, "That's really cool. But how does it work like that? Where do you plug it in?"
"There is no plug," she answered. "It doesn't need a plug."
"Then where do you put the batteries?" they persisted.
"It doesn't need batteries either," she continued.
"Wow! This is so cool!" they exclaimed. "Someone should have invented this a long time ago!"