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Most Popular Jokes on Lipy - Page 5

EK Pathan, ek Baniye ki shaadi mein gaya.

shaadi waale ghar k 2 Darwaze theyy, 1 pe Rishtedar,dusre pe Dost likha tha.
Pathan, Dost wale darwaze se enter huwa.

Aage phir 2 darwaze theyy,1 pe Ladies dosre pe Gents likha tha.
Pathan, Gents wale darwaze se enter hua.

Wahan 2 aur darwaze theyy.1 pe Gift dene wala doosre pe Bina giftwala likha tha.
Pathan Bina giftwaale darwaze mein enter ho gaya!

Jab dekha to pathan, bahar gali me khada tha!
Aurrr wahan likha tha: 'Sharm to nhi aa rahi hogi!!!
Baniye ki shaadi aur free mein roti khayega ?

JA JA hawa khhaa..!!!


Santa: I am in big trouble!



Banta: What happened?



Santa: I saw a rat in my house!



Banta: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.



Santa: I don't have one.



Banta: Well then, buy one.



Santa: I can't afford one.



Banta: I can give you mine if you want.



Santa: That sounds good.



Banta: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the rat come to the trap.



Santa: I don't have any cheese.



Banta: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.



Santa: I don't have oil.



Banta: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.



Santa: I don't have bread.



Banta: Then what the hell is the rat doing in your house?


There are two blondes, one on each side of a river. One says, "How'd you get on the other side?" The other one says, "You're on the other side!"


A kindergarten teacher is having her birthday and three of her students decided to bring her a gift.



The first students was little Timmy and his dad owned a Candy Store. Timmy walked up to his teacher and handed her a nice little gift wrapped box. The teacher thanked the student and told him, she wanted to see if she could guess what was in the box. The little boy excitedly agreed and after about twenty seconds the teacher said, "Is it candy!?" - The little boy surprisingly and a little disappointed walked back to his desk.



The second student was Taylor and her dad owned a kitchen appliance store. She walked up to her teacher with a fancily wrapped box about the size of a Football. The teacher took the box and asked if she could try to guess what was in the box - Taylor excitedly agreed and handed the package over to her teacher. The teacher stood there thinking for about forty five seconds then said, “Is it a Toaster!?” – The little girl was surprised and asked the teacher how she knew. The teacher smiled wide, thanked the student, and Taylor returned to her desk.



The third student was Sarah and her dad owned a winery. She walked up to the teacher with a box that was a little bigger than the teacher was expecting. The teacher smiled and asked if she could guess what was in the box. Sarah happily agreed, and handed over the box to her teacher. At this point, the entire classroom wanted to know if the teacher was going to get it right. The teacher started thinking, - the box felt a little lopsided, but she figured the gift just hadn’t been packaged well. After about a minute the teacher noticed little yellow drops coming from the side of the box. The teacher excitedly said, “Is it wine!?” and proceeded to taste some of the dripping liquid. The student smiled, and said, “No It’s a puppy!”

It was rush hour, and when the bus finally arrived, it was packed.

I tried to force my way on, but no one would budge, although there was more than ample room in the back.

Then.... the bus driver took over.

"Excuse me, Ladies and Gentlemen," he shouted. "Will all the beautiful, smart people please move to the back of the bus, and all the ugly stupid people stay up front."

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